1) Terrorists Bombs
2) Mad Egyptian Taxi Drivers
3) Hot Air Ballons + Powerlines
4) Insane Camels
5) Rabid Donkeys
6) Poisonous Scorpions
7) Falling Geckos (And Their Poo)
Food Poisoning (From Like, Everything)
9) Filthy Water
10) Drunken Airplane Pilots
11) Lightning Bolts
12) 3 years in London (Includes bad drugs, women and THAT GODDAMN WEATHER!)

This a short list of the things I have had to survive recently. Now it seems I have to add a lucky thirteenth entry to it.

13) FUCKING HUGE TSUNAMIS CAUSED BY HUGE UNDERWATER EARTHQUAKES!!

Jesus Christ, 26, 000 dead so far. Half the countries affected dont have a freaking clue how many people actually live there so how the hell are we ever gonna know exactly how many people have perished in this bollocks.

Man, I was swimming down the beach with mum and gaz when the earthquake actually struck… I actually noticed the tide moving around a miniscule fraction but the tides here are big anyway so it could have been that. A couple of hundred miles away around the other side of indo whole fucking villages were being decimated. How totally fucked up is that??

Shit. In case you hadn’t noticed I am swearing a lot in this post. Thats because it seems like just as you start to get used to the fact that terrorists are gonna blow the shit out of you as you sleep in your bed or crash shit into you when you are at work, now when you are swimming on holiday you are gonna have to entertain the notion that all of the water in the beautiful beach you are at could suddenly be sucked out and dumped on your head from 4 storeys up. bollocks it is.

DIAGNOSIS: FUCKED UP MAN

P.S.

I’m fine by the way and so is everyone else here in Lombok. Merry fucking christmas.