‘Rule Britannia! Britannia rules the something mumble mumble moo…’

[Update]
Slash dat, slash dat, slash dat caaam! Re, Re, Re, ReeeeemiiiiiiiiixX!!! - NSFW unless you work in a booby factory!!

Thanks to WTF MAYTE? for the link

Yep the site was temporarily b0rken!

Thanks to Benjamin The Henjamin (and Reckless) for pointing this out before the whole of modern society fell apart because no-one could view my salty pearls of wisdom for a day. Or something.

If only…

I really think that Big Brother 05, which is currently on here in Australia, would benefit from the addition of viewer controlled orbital cannon strikes.

…text the name ‘Jeff’ to 1344 to evict Jeff from the house or the phrase ‘Kill All’ to launch an orbital strike, vaporise the house and generally make the world a better place…

I watch way too much TV these days.

Schapelle Corby was found guilty yesterday and sentenced to 20 years in jail for apparently trying to sneak a crapload of marijuana into Bali.

This wouldn’t be very suprising if it weren’t for the fact that a whole heap of Quantas baggage handlers have recently been investigated or suspended because of claims they have been involved in a massive national drug smuggling operation!
Apparently they put the drugs into peoples bags at one airport in Australia and then take it out at the other end. This lot didn’t get picked up however and Schapelle ended up landing in Bali with a bodyboard bag full of green stuff.

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I am crap

Everytime I attempt to browse for pr0n look up new game dev articles that goddamn Jamster frog bastard pops up on my screen and starts dancing to that cheesy-as-shite Axel F song from Beverly Hills Cop.
And now it appears that this piece of shit is beating Coldpay in the charts! I don’t especially like Coldplay but this farkin’ ridiculous!

Man, I really don’t want to become one of those old people who are really out of touch with young people and complain all the time about how ‘the kids these days’ are all idiots but if this is what the little bastards are voting for then I already don’t understand ‘em!

It seems that my work collegues here in BBQ Land have discovered my site!

I guess I’d better not post any more entries about how much they suck!

Haha just kidding everyone. Hey look over there!

• Tarzan Rubberband - WTFFFF????
• Stunt City - Cool!

The new System Of A Down album is out… w00t!

[Update]
Reid pointed out that some of the links are not working when posts are viewed in the archives. The tags are there in the code but they seem to be processed out somehow. I’m pretty sure that this is due to the Markdown plugin messing something up somewhere so I should be able to sort it out eventually. I also need to move all the images from the old site to the new site because half the posts are missing their graphics.

I have officially dubbed my spare room Sub-Antartica 3.

Melbourne is about 200 degrees C warmer than London but because of this the people that own our house seem to have decided that it would be ok if they installed a heater that takes 17, 000 hours to warm a 1×1 m cube. It only works if all the doors and windows to the living room are closed so when I want to use the computer I have to rug up more than an Inuit on a hunting trip during a snow storm.

As I write this I have on my uber-warm Mambo jacket, a scarf, a hat and my hood. And I’m still cold.

Tomorrow I am going to buy a heater for the spare room. Should be cool (hot)

Today I bought some new underpants and soc%%%%%[#ERR 0000-AF90-8999-FFFF - MAXIMUM BANALITY LIMIT BREACHED, TERMINATING POST EOF]

Good News!

It’s slightly old news but still I feel like I have to tell you all about a new Firefox plugin that goes by the name of GreaseMonkey.

GreaseMonkey is a plugin that allows you to apply custom javascripts to pages that match a particular URL filter. “What the hell does that mean?” I don’t hear you say because you are nerds (mostly) and know all about this already.
Well what that means, for the laypeeps in the house, is that you can use GreaseMonkey to automatically and dynamically modify the structures of webpages to do basically anything! (“Thanks Ash, that cleared it up!” I also don’t hear you say…:) )

Say, for example, you like browsing a certain site, but everytime you click on a link it takes you to an intermediate page that contains adverts before loading the requested content. Don’t like looking at endless ads for crappy American cars? Just install the GreaseMonkey script that skips ‘em!

If you still don’t get it then here are some more scripts for your greasy pleasure:

• Download embedded videos from websites
• Remove ads from Gizmodo
• Warn before discarding Gmail - Yahoo!
• Google Images Re-Linker - Go straight to images instead of the intermediate page

This is just a small taste of what is available here at the GreaseMonkey User Scripts SupRepository. Enjoy!

The GreaseMonkey Firefox plugin can be found at http://greasemonkey.mozdev.org/.

This plugin is really changing the way people are using the web. What is it going to mean for advertisers when we can skip all of their adverts?

Bad News!

Kylie Minogue has been diagnosed with breast cancer!

I don’t like her music and I think that she has the personality of a small shrub but this news sucks! It just shows that that shit can strike anyone these days!! Aiieeee!! Where the hell is my robot exoskeleton? I need my mind to be uploaded into something more resilient than this flimsy meat sack I call my body!

Film Review: Japanese Story

A couple of weekends ago, April, 2005

An unwilling Australian geologist (Toni Collette) is saddled with a Japanese representative from the mining company they both work for. After a bit of bollocks the relationship between them begins to change for the better.

Then some fucked up shit happens which made me really hate this movie. It is the cinematic equivalent of punching something in the face, kicking them in the balls and stealing all of their money after you have just taken them out to dinner. Bollocks.

High Point: The first half of the movie.

Low Point: The second half of the movie.

Score: 2/5 - Because it made me angry.. Oh yeah and the rest wasn’t that good anyway.

Hehe, somewhere, someone employed by Yahoo had too much time on their hands…

“Provides programmatic access to the slacker.yahoo.com misspelling engine, a service designed to automate the removal of that too-perfect sheen from papers and presentations that might arouse suspicion in teachers and colleagues.

May also be useful for Perl programmers.”

• Mispeling Sugesstons Enjin

Dual Balls

I’d like to see Channel 10 here in Aus, with its apparent ‘Event Bigness’, put something like this up on its website. Farkin lame Australian media bollocks!

Sometimes I get the feeling that Joel (from Joel on Software) is a bit full of himself, but maybe it’s just because he’s American and has been mentally conditioned since he was born to think he is awesome. Or maybe he is full of himself. Either way his latest article has hit the nail so squarely on the head I’m sure GPS must have been involved.

“It’s at this point you typically say, ‘Blistering Barnacles, we’ve
got to get some consistent coding conventions around here!’ and
you spend the next day writing up coding conventions for your team
and the next six days arguing about the One True Brace Style and the
next three weeks rewriting old code to conform to the One True Brace Style
until a manager catches you and screams at you for wasting time on
something that can never make money, and you decide that it’s not really
a bad thing to only reformat code when you revisit it, so you have about
half of a True Brace Style and pretty soon you forget all about that and
then you can start obsessing about something else irrelevant to making
money like replacing one kind of string class with another kind of
string class.”

It’s funny because it is so true…

Read the article in full here: Making Wrong Code Look Wrong

A humorous cartoon that I do not understand or like

Our favourite artery clogging white haired ex-army deep fried chicken merchant has done it again!

Those of you who were with me during The Great Chicken Incident of ‘83 might not believe it but for a while there I had actually stopped eating KFC (OMFGBBQ!) because:

• I am on a ‘fitness’ kick at the moment (Notice the quotes).

• They stopped making Hot n Spicy KFC and Original recipe is way too oily even for a man caribbean descent man such as myself (We have at least 50 RNA base pairs dedicated entirely to the eating of deep fried objects).

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I pretty much just want to yell What the f****k?* at the top of my voice…

SW Fertiliser?
I watched it twice and it made less sense each time…
Tasty!
Those crazy Japanese are at it again!
Nerds

Instituto de Estudos Orientais

[Update]

Ok they changed the logo when they realised what was up. This is what it used to look like

Ouch!

From the Netgear Support website…!

Improving Wireless Range: Overview

You can improve wireless range by:

*  Choosing the Best Locations
*  Tuning Equipment
*  Buying the most suitable equipment

A good approach includes all of these. If you’re in a hurry, you can concentrate on getting more equipment — there are many situations you can just buy your way out of.

What the hell? Thats like saying, “Yeah, we know our hardware sucks. Buy more of it and maybe that will make the problem go away. If not, buy some more!
We have a Netgear branded 50ft radio tower we would be glad to sell you if you are having trouble getting your internet connection to work through more than the thinnest cardboard wall in the world.”

Guess what I’m going to say… Go on guess….. Bollocks!

Those of you who have been reading this steaming pile of mental excretion for a while may remember a post about the problems I was having with automatic doors due to my hair’s strange ability to seemingly absorb all infra-red light.

I cut my dreadlocks off about a year ago and the problem went away. Until now that is…!

As part of Project Afro(No page yet :)) I have been growing my hair out again. And what happened when I tried to walk through an automatic door the other day? Well let’s just say it was a close call. If it wasn’t for a sudden inkling that something wasn’t right I might have lost the ability to have children as well as wear trousers.

What is it about my hair that causes this? Will the US military approach me for information on a new furry coating for their stealth fighters? I would love to see my head in infra-red one day. It would be like the invisible man… If he was visible but had invisible hair that is…… Hey look over there!