Creepy yet cool! - But mostly creepy…

What the hell are the switches with the chickens on them?? Surely there only needs to be one knob to turn the oven on and maybe a switch for a light!

And what happens when I try to cook a lamb roast with the Chicken switch on??!

I just enabled port forwarding for BitTorrent and now my shit is blaaazin! Like literally I did a poo in the middle of the floor and set it on fire with my m4d sk1llz d00d!

I feel like such a geek for some reason. Which is strange as I spend all my time at work marvelling at how elegant my latest code for merging contacts has gotten. Also I haven’t owned my own computer for nearly 4 years so I’m not sure what’s goin’ on.

The other night I had a dream about suddenly having heaps of trousers. At the time was totally awesome cos I had like, this entire room of trousers. Then I woke up and realised I really only had about 5 pairs.

Which sucked.

Does anyone think it’s strange that Norton Security occasionally pops up and tries to tell me that my computer is attempting to send invalid UDP packets to itself? I’ts pretty bizzare.

If anyone wants to know how to set up port forwarding on their router or modem I found a really cool site which has tuts (not tits Ben :)) for heaps of different makes and models.

Port forwarding tutorials

Yeah. About that Free For All Friday thing….

Well if I was gonna do it it would have to set it up tonight for tomorrow and I can’t be bothered so it might have to be Free For All Saturday or Monday instead. But it will happen!

L8r!

[Update] Started the site redesign! Just some preliminary stuff for now because I hate the default theme so much. Also… Do you like cheese sandwiches? Yeah, you know what i’m talkin about

I’m back!

Now running XP (32 bit edition) and everything is peachy.

Where can I find Photoshop CS and Dreamweaver?? This joint needs a redesign more than a GTA crackwhore needs a giant purple dildo (Long story… literally).

Also, I know this is a highly subjective question, but what’s good to get on the internet??

What are all the good torrents, games, apps(z), movies, shizzle?? I have been a Luddite for so long I don’t have a clue whats up apart from a couple of good webshites that I frequent in-between bouts of “work” (How did that word get into this post??).

Hook me up with the good shit guys!!!!!

Oh yeah and prepare for some major web revampage to happen over the next month or two commencing with….. Free For All Friday on the last friday of the month! Yeah I actually am gonna do it this time! W000t! You can deface my site! Yeah!

Till tomorrow!

Got my computer today. Finally!

Unfortunately I decided to take a risk and purchase a copy of Windows XP 64 which is totally incompatible with my wireless network card.
Netgear, ever the faithful mofos, have apparently decided not to write any 64bit drivers until the platform becomes more widespread. Mofos…

Oh well, dodgy copy of XP here I come!

Aaiieeee!!

That’s me on the right

No computer until Monday but that doesn’t matter because after I went to the gym today I finally bought A PROPER AFRO COMB!!!

Now I was thinking that maybe this comb would give me a little extra body in the hair area you know. Not too much, gotta let it grow more before I can get the real afro stylee goin’ and all that.

Well imagine my suprise then when I combed my hair out and then looked into the mirror to see the SAMUEL L SHAFT HIMSELF STARING BACK AT ME!!

HEY MOTHERFUCKER! WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE SEVENTIES ARE OVER? LOOK AT MY MOTHERFUCKING HAIR MOTHERFUCKER, DOES IT LOOK LIKE THE MOTHERFUCKING SEVENTIES ARE OVER MOTHERFUCKER??

I’m gonna start calling myself Ashemah ‘L’ Harrison from now on just to be cool I reckon

Photos on monday night I promise. Don’t laugh or I WILL STRIKE THEE DOWN WITH GREAT VENGANCE or however that quote goes

P.S. I know shaft had hardly any hair in the original or the remake so this post is actually a load of bollocks but I can’t think of any Pulp Fiction quotes off the top of my head

MY NEW COMPOOTER HAS BEEN SHIPPED!!! PREPARE TO PH33R MY M4D SK!llz BIORCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i’m going to have a lie down now.

‘And i’d do it again in an instant suckers!!’

Well it looks like our favourite child molestering sex-pest ‘child-like’ wacky musical prodigy, Michael ‘Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough‘ Jackson, has managed to just Beat It and escape a lengthy stint in jail as Bubba’s prettiest girlfriend!

The trial was a Thriller from the get go with both the defence and the prosecution raising allegations of scheming and general Badness in the other camp. Those attempting to condemn Jackson to life behind bars alleged that Jackson had slept in the same bed as one of the children and had used his power and image to deceive them into peforming lewd acts with him. The defence’s argument was that Jackson was just an innocent pawn in a massive game of manipulation by the parents of the chilren involved, and because of his child like nature he was unable to percieve that sleeping in the same bed as a minor could be construed as, as they say in sunny England, ‘Dodgy As Fuck’.

Read more »

Could someone please explain why John Malcovich stars in so many historical French movies? (English speaking movies about French history that is)

I’m currently watching Napolean on some channel and when everyone else in the film speaks it is like ‘Ah ho ho Pierre. Please pass me ze crossant zank you, bonjour’, and then John starts speaking and it’s all like ‘Well Mr President, the aliens have attacked and we must move you to AirForce One immediately.’ John Malcovich isn’t French and he has the worst American drawl on the planet. What the hell is he doing in all these films?

It’s just like that Three Muskateers movie all over again! Or that one with the iron mask and the guy that does the stuff. You know what I’m talkin about.

I guess we will just have to wait and see!

Ha ha ha ha! his guy gets g*ddamn motherf**king pi**ed off!

Click to listen - Mr Bergis [via wtf]

About a month ago I was talking to my bro about writing some online music collaboration software that I was going to call Ninja. It was to feature the ability to sync audio across the net so Starehe and I (and everyone else) could mix it up across anywhere in the world.

So imagine my suprise when today I was browsing my RSS feeds and I found that Justin Frankel (Winamp) has just announced some online jamming software called Ninjam!!! It does exactly what I wanted to do! And it nearly has the same name as well!

WHAT THE FUCK??! ENOUGH WITH THE COINCIDENCES MAN!!!

And also stop stealing my ideas from my brain you bastards!!!

Yeah I know that he probably had this idea before me but still its freaky…!

Not content to stop with just a pic of rampant robo-eroticism, I now have some random links for your consumption:

• Matrix Ping-Pong
  An oldie but a goodie

• Rock, Paper, Scissors - Saddam style!
  HEY CRY ME A RIVER DUDE. IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOU DON’T KNOW TIGER HAND!

• It’s The Best Page In The Universe!
  Offensive AND funny.

• StoreWars [via Dave!]
  Gotta love those egg-troopers…

I seriously have about 10, 000, 000 awesome (read: fucked up) links to post up here but they are going to have to wait until my new box arrives. Good shit ahead!

…or are you just happy to see me?

As per usual I’m not exactly sure what is going on here but hey, I’m not the sort of guy to pass up an opportunity to post a picture of a giant killer robot with a heat seeking member…!

BAM! I’m like a squirrel tryin’ to bust a nut!

[Thanks to me old mate wtf for the pic! :)]

• Fast Film

Apparently it’s made from 65, 000 individually photocopied movie frames. Trip-tastic!

I have done it!! I have finally ordered my computer!!

Those of you who knew me from England would have gotten used to hearing my trademark phrase…

“When I get a computer, I am going to do this and do that and update my website and write a game and make a song and solve world hunger and blahdy blah blah blah.” (The other variation when I first got over there was of course “When I get a job…”)

In fact for a while there my nickname was Ashemah ‘WhenIgeta’ ‘Sunshine’ ‘Fernandez’ Harrison’!¹ Well this post is to tell you that those days are over! I have ordered the computer and it should be arriving within a week or two so after that I will have no excuses left for not making good music or updating this site from the wordpress default theme. In fact, if this joint aint updated within 3 weeks (better make it a month) you have my expressed permission to punch me repeatedly in the face until I start crying. This goes for the guys at Teragen as well…

In other news, I am watching a section on SBS at the moment that has cartoons from Happy Tree Friends and Friends, Youri The Spaceman, The Angry Kid, Super Friends and Harvey Birdman. Thats some funny shiat!…

I guess you really had to be there…

¹Not really…