It all began when I opened the PDF containing my flight details to see if my flight was at 21:30 or 21:35. “21:05″, the page said to me. “Fuck,” I said.

Anyway, after bribing a morose Dutch taxi driver with my best film star impersonation, “to the airport - and step on it”, I arrived in time and am now waiting for my flight. Of course we nearly flipped his maxi taxi a couple of times on the way but that’s the price of progress people!

Only too late have I realized that I have forgotten my headphones… 16 gb of tunes and no way to listen to any of them… It’s going to be a long trip.

Wait, let me rephrase that… FUCK!

Is it strange that I want to yell, “That’s my nigga!” to everybody I see today?

Man, I ain’t even American, man…